SugarDaddyForMe

I went out with a pot SD for the second time on Sunday night and had a rather scandalist evening!

I try to remain friendly with most of my ex-SDs, I keep them at arm’s length anyway, so if I happen to run into one whilst out with another, nothing gets too uncomfortable. It’s proven to be a smart move thus far because some long-past SDs have seen me out with another SD, then called me to go out soon after. Seeing me had reminded them how cool they thought I was…

Clean breaks, no hard feelings, everyone wins– right?

Sunday night was the exception. So this newer pot SD took me to dinner…

Side Note: This man is still just a pot because while we’ve discussed that we want similar things from an arrangement, he hasn’t quite committed, though a handbag was bought by way of his cc as a sort of sugar-baby retainer.

…Yes, dinner. A great little place in downtown Phx…

Great wine?

Check.

Great food?

Absolutely.

Hefty bill taken care of by SD?

Done and done (thank you very much)

So, this SD (we’ll dub him Z until he makes an impression) kept telling me he had a surprise after dinner. Post vino and eats, we got into his classic Merc in mint condition (I absolutely luve cars like that!!), and he whisked me off to the next unknown destination!

Apparently this SD listens—because the surprise destination was to see a show, a band I’ve really been into! I don’t even think he’d ever listened to their music! Woo-hoo!

Upon arrival, getting out of the merc in my adorable little outfit, there in my periphery I saw my last crazy SD—the one exception to the rule of staying on good terms! Yikes—luckily, Z loves the school marm look, so as I was sporting my new Persols, I could fuss with them enough to give the illusion of not making eye contact or seeing my crazy ex-SD.

So this last SD, the dentist, is a weirdo with a capital C (the creepster, I’ll tell you more about him at a later date)!

There the dentist was, eerily close to us as we tried to enjoy the show, I didn’t want to leave my date alone! But before my bladder was about to explode, (not a good impression), I excused myself to the restroom and the dentist followed me.

Just as I was about to lock the one-stall bathroom, he barged through, pressed me up against the cold tile like he was either going to fuck or kill me, and asked me what I was thinking by being there! Eww yuck, he smelled like sweat as I remembered he did.

I found that with the dentist, I have to remain calm and silent—no response, and he usually walks away angry, but I walk away unscathed.

So I didn’t respond (or even think about how he smelled so I wouldn’t lose my meal) he gave my throat a good squeeze and left the bathroom.

I exited the water closet and joined Z for the rest of the amazing, albeit my mind was elsewhere, show… The dentist had, lucky for me, left before I returned to Z so I didn’t have the look of fear about me.

I’ve dealt with the dentist before, and had to wear scarves after close encounters with his grip so I know the drill. Z never questioned my stall adventure and I never let on, the pot SD would think I was the problem for sure! Charlie Sheen and his goddesses are a great example of a scandalous arrangement, full of crazy and blame.

I have another date with Z this week for a “talk” (why do they always have to preface uncomfortable talks as “talks”) to discuss our future arrangement. Stupid dentists.

With all the buzz and excitement of the earthquake in Japan, sugar daddy Charlie Sheen and his sugar baby goddesses, Lindsay Lohan’s impending court case is falling a little on the importance scale.

As Lindsay, not a self-proclaimed sugar baby, faces felony grand theft charges, I can’t help but wonder where her sugar daddy is. I mean, aside from her real daddy, her really weird daddy, doesn’t she have some knight in shining armor to come through for her? Or is she just so miserable as a person, much less a sugar baby, that no one is interested in giving her the pleasure?

In the world of sugar daddy dating, looks are important (way more important than in traditional dating). Does Lindsay Lohan even measure up against the droves of gorgeous sugar babies trying to get their piece of the pie? I don’t know, I’m not a sugar daddy, but if I was (hypothetical), would I be Lindsay Lohan’s sugar daddy? I guess I’d have to get to know her first– or at least pay for the assurance of her not acting like a blundering drunk if I took her out.

I’d probably make her wear panties for the first half of the night (does the carpet match the curtain? Wait, there’d better not be carpet ladies!)

If you were a sugar daddy, would you consider Lindsay Lohan? Or is Bree Olson or Kacey Jordan more your style?

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Rewind to the moment when women, or sugar babies, began to realize their effect on men.

I can remember this vivid moment happening in my adult life, and let’s be honest, it’s really only your adult life that matters, anything before that is like the pre-qualifying round, if you make it, you can play.

If you were ever an athlete, growing up renders you unaware to the sexual powers your body possesses. The way the body performs and functions are the ways in which it’s measured, not in bed and not by the way it looks.

When I became aware of the sexual powers a lean strong body can hold over men of all ages, I chose to invest in its sustainability by spending time and money on maintaining it.

Sugar daddies love when, during moments of intimacy, you wrap a pair of strong legs around them, use core strength (thank you Pilates), stabilize a tight and erect torso, and disseminate your prowess all over them. It’s almost a perfect weapon, almost. Few sugar daddies have been able to withstand its power.

So… on that note… sugar babies really need to learn to invest in themselves more, and not just rely on sugar daddies for everything! Having sugar daddies in our lives is a treat, not to be taken for granted.

I mean, let’s face it, you expect a sugar daddy to be the only one to pay for a membership on sugar daddy dating sites like sugarsugar.com? Even before they’ve met any of you lovely ladies? That’s preposterous! Isn’t that like paying $100 to choose from door number 1, 2, or 3 and finding nothing on the other side? That is not fair—that is not winning!

Come on, meet a generous sugar daddy in the middle and get your own membership! Don’t be so helpless, if you can help it—

Things you can do to invest in yourself that may impress a sugar daddy:

• Pay for your own friggin’ sugar baby membership
• Be as active as possible! Go take a walk on the wild side and run your ass off—nobody likes a flabby sugar baby
• Wash your hair, brush it, and style it… daily- duh!
• Shop for your own clothes, or hire a personal stylist- how can you afford one? Well prioritize your finances, duh! – You are here to be a better sugar baby, not ask for a handout

Know your power as a sexual prowess.

Use it to your advantage.

Take ownership and responsibility of the care and well-being of yourself.

Can’t do these things—then you really have no business dating, sugar daddies or otherwise. Really, no joke.

Don’t waste a sugar daddy’s time, don’t waste your time.

Oh yeah, and don’t forget what I said about wrapping your legs around your sugar daddies face—works every time!

Thousands of sugar babies adorn the pages of SugarSugar.com, some with profile photos and some without. Those without photos, not surprisingly, don’t gain much of anything or a true online dating experience. The pics chosen for a sugar baby’s profile should have rhyme, reason and should be a good representation of who she is.

More often than not, photos chosen by sugar babies for their profiles do not seem to be in line with what they say they are seeking, like an angel with devil horns and a pitchfork on fire. It can be very conflicting and scary.

Want to spend more actual time with a generous sugar daddy that spoils you and less time looking for one? Then you’ll need to make sure your profile photos align with who you are and who you want to attract, that will cut down on the amount of time and energy you will spend in Onlinedatingville.

• Post multiple photos of yourself so sugar daddies can see what you really look like. Clear, unobtrusive face and full body shots paint a better picture of you than that one where you’re on your back, legs behind your head, knees at your ears, ready to receive a ram or rim job.

• Post photos of yourself doing your favorite extracurricular activities (no, not that). For example, if you like to golf, and a pot sugar daddy who also likes to golf sees your profile, without reading (sugar daddies rarely read profile words), he can tell you like to golf too and Bam! you now have something in common. All because you chose one photo over another

Uh, it’s called Winning!

• Try to keep switching up your main profile photo. You just never know if your profile got passed over because of poor lighting or an uncomplimentary shirt. Why not change it up a little and keep it fresh!

• What happened to the notion of “Less is more”? Anyone? Seriously… So many sugar babies choose more cleavage over less in their main profile photos! At least make it the second photo of your profile, it’ll seem LESS trashy.

• If you end up deciding to post a photo with more cleavage, ignoring my advice, then you might as well be anonymous too.

• Pregnant and wanting to be a sugar baby? Umm, please don’t…no, stop it…

• Please stop flipping upside down for a photo op. The camera goes the other way–

And…I’m officially speechless… Give me something to work with, will ya?

Contrary to popular belief, we are not all masters of sugar daddy dating, only some of us

Sugar babies can be new to the game as much as any other virgin-type, and then there will undoubtedly be questions as to the ‘how-to’. That’s where sugar baby mentors, (not dementors) like myself can lend a helping hand. There are always a ton of questions from every new sugar baby, questions like:

• What do sugar daddies expect?
• What can I expect from a sugar daddy?
• Do sugar daddies like full-figured women?
• How do I make my profile stand out?
• What if I have kids?

Those are but a few of the  millions (blown out of proportion) of questions asked by new sugar babies… Instead of thinking in terms of sugar daddies and sugar babies, let’s swap those two terms for men and women.

Does that change the equation much? Because it should… Sugar daddy and sugar baby  CAN be easily substituted with men and women.

The only thing that really changes is the notion that I’m not expected to financially support my man, THANK GOD!

The sooner you can accept the terms of that arrangement, the better. Sugar daddy dating is no different than traditional or conventional dating, save for the fact that my sugar daddy won’t be mooching off of me and couch-crashing like other men have done before.

Doesn’t that sound nice? Yes, I thought so…

Let’s change out the ‘sugar daddy’ and ‘sugar baby’ terms for ‘men’ and ‘women’ in the SB queries and see if we can’t answer those questions in laymen terms to get a better grasp of sugar daddy dating, and well, dating in general:

• What do men expect?

The age old question, right? What do men expect from us? Nothing but the best comes to mind.

Men expect to have their cake and eat it too, so that’s what we have to make them think they’re getting! Give men enough of yourself to have them believe they are getting what they want, all the while preserving who you are.

If you are strong and confidant in who that is, a mere show or flattery will not cause you a disservice, I promise.

Don’t wanna give anything of yourself? Well, then you have no business dating period. The more you are, the more you can give without shaking the foundation of who that is.

• What can I expect from men?

Nothing. No, seriously though — Second verse, same as the first… What can you really expect form anyone in your life, sugar daddy or otherwise? Nada, zip, zilch, nichts!

Nothing. Expect nothing from anyone and you will have success in all you do. Do for others, sugar daddies included, simply because you want to. Not for any other reason.

Everyone else is watching out for number One, why shouldn’t you? You’ve got to take care of yourself, or no one will.

“Expect nothing and appreciate everything” is a great dating motto to adopt.

• Do men like full-figured women?

Well yes, some men do. Some men like long hair, others like short. Some daddies like petite brunettes while others prefer leggy blondes.

We come in all sizes, shapes and colors. Sugar daddy’s wants are no exception to this rule.

Post a great photo of yourself and see what happens. That’s all you can do. If a man thinks you’re attractive, he will contact you. Do not force the issue, men are into all kinds of women, maybe you’re just not his type. Don’t take it personal and move on!

• How do I make my profile stand out?

Making your profile stand out on any dating site can be as easy as 1-2-3.

Cliche as it seems, 1-2-3 is all you need. Number one: second guess yourself. Don’t write in a rush or half-ass it, we can tell. Number two: this is not a personals ad, EVERYONE likes nice things, wants to be spoiled, and take long walks on the beach. Lastly: Please please please write ANYTHING but trite things that everyone else writes, make your profile unique and authentic and it WILL stand out

• What if I have kids?

So? What if I have a dog or a cat and three beta fish? What if I am married? What if men throwing rotten tomatoes (or toh-mah-toes) at me turns me on? Does having kids, fish, or a tomato fetish prevent you from dating? If you’re insecure about it, sure. Otherwise, who gives a flying f*ck?

Don’t let your dating life get in the way of things that are truly important to you. Make it a healthy enmeshed marriage. If it’s important, tell it like it is…

You see? Deciphering new sugar baby questions can be easy and fun! That’s the whole notion of sugar daddy dating and dating in general, it should be easy and fun– or why in the hell do it?

Put yourself out there and date up a storm!! What have you got to lose anyway — yourself? Nah… but that would be a good trip!

Tyra Banks welcomes our sugar babies to her show today, The Tyra Banks Show! Tyra, open-minded and a big supporter of sugar daddy dating, sheds light on the newly common dating niche.

It used to be that the most common misconceptions and misdiagnosed mental diseases arose from the mere mention of sugar daddy dating. Underground and unaccepted, sugar daddies and babies only whispered of their dating lives, publicly shunning the lifestyle.

Now, sugar babies shout their experiences from mountain tops– or on Macbooks in their single-room apartment flats in a modest pair of Jimmy Choos.

The host of America’s Next Top Model welcomes sugar babies with a wide and skinny embrace. She takes them in like mama-hen, prodding and picking at them like mama does so well. Our SugarSugar.com sugar babies hold their own on Tyra’s show, letting viewers into the sweet (and sometimes salty) world they live in.

Attention sugar babies of all shapes, sizes, and colors:

• Wear your sugar badge of glory on your sleeve and fly your cotton candy flag  proudly!

• You deserve the sweetness a sugar baby lifestyle provides, don’t be embarrassed by your greatness and beauty!

• So you like nice things, so you want an education, you crave ‘men’torship from successful men, so what?!?

Who wouldn’t want those things? You are just honest about it! Tyra Banks commends your honesty and scoffs at fake bimbos, in other words, don’t be a fake bimbo…

To all new sugar babies and veterans of the old dating game, Tyra welcomes you to the sweeter life, you deserve it!

It’s hard to get a porn actress work… well, honest work anyway—but who cares?!?

“If you’ve got it, flaunt it!

If you’ve got gold, mine it!

If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it!”

–Deep thoughts (not to be confused with deep throats)…

by Sugar Baby Porn Star

Regardless of whether or not porn actress and new Mistress of the Millennium, Kacey Jordan finds love, she’s sure to find deep pockets on SugarSugar.com

–I mean, the girl’s gorgeous AND she appreciates the hell out of a man when she’s with him!

Exhibit A:

Charlie Sheen

Poor, poor Charlie.

Opportunist or not, Kacey Jordan had her way and moved on. Fake teeth made of gold or not, Charlie is Kacey’s friend til the bitter end. He still sends texts like the good sugar daddy he is—maybe the show should be called: “Half a Man for Those Who Love Stupid Shows” starring…Charlie Sheen!

Advice for those sugar daddies wanting to date a sugar baby like Kacey Jordan:

Play the game better than the others! Kacey’s no slouch in the sugar dating game, it takes a strong man (and a village) to take a woman, or girl, like that…

Pack your pup-tents boys, take her camping! This is a girl who loves adventure and the great outdoors! Just be sure to bring her back in one piece. I mean, alive… I mean, alive and well—

Put her on your payroll! Pay her to give you advice on different tantric-sex poses or the like, you never know when they’ll come in handy (I think the current going rate per pose is $10)

Scratch her back! Nobody likes back-scratching more than Kacey Jordan! Just be sure to get all of those hard-to-reach places… Don’t worry, she’ll tell you where to put it!

Exhibit B:

Anonymous Celebrity

Kacey recently disclosed that her terminated pregnancy was the result of either Charlie Sheen or an anonymous celebrity’s sperm going where no porn star wants it, she’s just not sure because she gets “pregnant quickly”.

So you would rather be a nameless sugar daddy of Kacey Jordan’s? I suggest you have your attorney draft a non-disclosure agreement for Kacey to sign on your first date together.

If your don’t want Kacey to spread the news of your indescretions or any consequential pregnancies, then you’d be better off  doing the same as her last anonymous celebrity man-toy, have her sign a contract.

She’ll be quiet when you need her to

The bad news about sugar babies is that they are money driven…

The good news about sugar babies is that they are money-driven…

Get them to sign a document stating they won’t say ANYTHING to ANYONE, or you will sue them. Imagine the big mouths of sugar babies who sign an agreement like this, closed. See? Being money-driven isn’t always a bad thing… Besides, most sugar babies won’t say much anyway.

Whether you have a dream to share the spotlight with Kacey Jordan on TMZ, or anonymously poke her and throw money at her from the side-lines, SugarSugar.com can help!

Now I’m no stranger to having dates on February 13th, Mistress Day, but this year brought me good tithing on Valentine’s Day instead. Regardless of the actual holiday you chose to celebrate, the overall meaning of Mistress Day and Valentine’s Day are similar. Both are days to show appreciation of someone you either care a lot about or sleep with, even if you consider the mere act of  ‘just sleeping with someone’, at least you can still appreciate the raw physical satisfaction you get.

That said, I had a very memorable Mistress Day a few years back, way before my days of experimenting with sugar daddy dating sites like SugarSugar.com…

Oh, and Happy Mistress Day to all– I hope you enjoy this story half as much as I did actually living it…

I went out on Mistress Day with a married man once, David. We had dinner reservations at Daniel, one of my favorite spots in New York. People thought I was his wife and we were celebrating for Valentine’s Day, so that was a little awkward, and he was a little shifty. We normally don’t go out in public, and in the rare instances that we do, we aren’t affectionate with each other. I’ve learned to use my periphery more than most, probably in case some crazy tow-headed bitch comes at me, I can be prepared…

I could care less about dating married men, so going out on either Mistress Day or Valentine’s Day was of no consequence. It’s wives and clingy girlfriends who get caught up in the specifics anyway. I just wanted to have a nice evening out, I could have gone out any other night too if he would have been less awkward.

After an excellent as always dinner at Daniel, David gave me a card-sized envelope to open, not without his eyes darting back and forth. I opened the envelope to a cutesy pre-fab card with a heart on the front, on a side-note, married men are not really romantic, like they’ve given up all around. The inside of the card had cash in it (a nice surprise of $1000), and was signed “Love, David”.

Fortunately or unfortunately the card was actually intended for his wife. The tip-off? Her name was on the inside of the card instead of mine—oops… I didn’t tell him he gave me the wrong card. I instead, graciously said thank you for the gift and for taking me out while struggling to choke down my surprise and scoff at his stupid mistake (I wonder who he gave more money to though). I put the envelope in my handbag and could see David squirming to end the night early. We never went out on Saturday nights, so I suspect his wife was wondering where he was or something. I didn’t ask but I saw him nervously looking at his cell phone in between his other awkward movements.

We said goodnight and goodbye before we even got up from the table, making no plans of seeing each other again soon. He patted my hand on the table and I could feel his hands were nervously clammy. I told him I hoped he’d have a nice Valentine’s Day with his wife for what it was worth, though he didn’t find that as amusing as I did.

I never heard from him again, which is fine, but I still wonder if giving me the wrong card ever blew up in his face.

SugarSugar.com was excited to host the Mistress of the Millennium (so far) contest. In preparation for Mistress Day, February 13th, we presented you with the top 10 contenders for the title and asked you to choose. You voted.

We are proud to announce the Mistress of the Millennium so far… Sexy Kacey Jordan!

Bubbly Kacey Jordan, MM (Mistress of the Millennium) and a close friend to Charlie Sheen, is now the proud owner of a lifetime, all-access SugarSugar.com membership. The all-access membership grants her use of sugar baby mentoring services, unlimited email access, and top ranking site placement within SugarSugar.com.

New sugar babies could stand to learn a few things from a sugar baby like Kacey Jordan!

Click HERE to see Kacey Jordan on SugarSugar.com

Make note of what a great profile looks like sugar babies:

• Four (4) quality uploaded photos (notice how she is the only person in the photos which keeps your attention where it should be, only on her)

• Four different looks or locations. This is telling of her ability to be dynamic and shows her has many interests

• The photo of her at a NY Giants game shows she can be ‘one of the boys’ and enjoy it! A great quality for attracting pot sugar daddies.

• No smiley photos. Just because you don’t smile with teeth in a photo doesn’t mean that you’ll look bitchy. It can actually enhance your natural beauty if you softy smile in a photo, not a full-on toothy grin, but a slight upturn in the corners of the lips.

• Her profile content is not bad, but solely judging on photos alone, her profile makes her a definite 10. She’ll have no problem hand-picking a sugar daddy from the likely ton or so who are interested.

Make a note of this blog and Kacey Jordan’s profile, the Mistress of the Millennium (so far), for future reference on how a profile should look. Sugar daddies, well- men in general, are very visually wired (do I really need to plead my case with the abundance of pornographic collections worldwide?), it should come as no surprise that great photos (of you) will get sugar daddies to your profile.

From there on out, it’s who you are that has to stand out amongst the masses.

Vote for the Mistress of the Millennium – Mistress Day is around the corner, got a date?

Many women drift off to sleep on the eve of Valentine’s Day, February 13th, visions of posh dinner reservations, dozens of roses, and huge white teddy bears holding kitschy red hearts dance in their heads. One thing they should be wondering? Hmmm, why their valentine isn’t home in bed next to them…

The likely reason for their absence could be because February 13th, officially Mistress Day, is an almost national holiday for men to celebrate the other woman in their lives…

In honor of Mistress Day, leading sugar dating site www.SugarSugar.com has compiled a list of theTop 10 Mistresses of the Millennium (so far). Professional athletes, famous actors, and wealthy entrepreneurs have provided more than enough fodder from their indiscretions to compile such an extensive list of mistresses, it’s enough to keep TMZ on the air for at least the next 100 years. There is no shortage of cheating lovers, here you will see who was recently exposed, and the women who attracted their wandering eyes.

Who is the Mistress of the Millennium so far? Cast your vote up until February 13th, the big day, and SugarSugar.com will award the winning mistress with a premium lifetime membership.

Rachel Uchitel – Tiger Woods’ would be #1 (if she hadn’t exploited those texts he sent her) girl has made herself a household name amongst bored housewives. She finally agreed to keep the remaining, if there were any, sordid details of their affair quiet so the golfer could get back to his otherwise enviable life. The cost to Tiger? A mere 10 Million Dollars

Ashley Dupré – Spitzer’s call girl, now a lauded sex columnist for the New York Post, publically took down (and went down on) the governor, using her infamous new persona to land her the cover of Playboy. As it turns out, scandal pays… and pays well.

Kayte Walsh – Kelsey Grammer’s recent engagement announcement to new sugar, Kayte Walsh, was eons before the ink dried on his divorce papers. His wife of 13 years, Desperate Housewives– I meanReal Housewives star, Camille Grammer surprisingly declined for comment. Kayte must have quite a few tricks up her sleeves, or skirt.

Michelle “Bombshell” McGee – America’s sweetheart, Sandra Bullock, lost bad boy Jesse James to a tatted, busty, and apparent “bombshell” stripper. Regardless of their affair’s outcome, the Bombshell has been cashing in on her newfound fame by dramatically increasing her lap dance rates by 15.2%– you do the math.

Kacey Jordan – Privy to Charlie Sheen’s 36-hour bender, an impressive feat, Kacey Jordan and Sheen wildly went where no self-respecting people should go. Now, as part of her public due diligence, Jordan will star in a film venture (of the adult genre) scoring her a rather large sum of money. 22-years old and almost synonymous with porn-star, good job!

Angelina Jolie – After hunky Brad Pitt co-starred with every-woman’s-nightmare in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, he left his wife of five years, America’s other sweetheart, Jennifer Aniston, for Jolie. The way too good-looking pair barely smile while rockily residing with their wordly family and too many kids.

Sienna Miller – The best way to get over your ex husband’s affair with the babysitter? Have one of your very own. Sienna Miller had highly publicized affair with sugar daddy Balthazar Getty, (remember those topless photos from Italy!?! I don’t). At least Miller was finally able to move past her ex Jude Law’s affair, the duo are now planning a wedding for later this year.

Maria Chapur – Former South Carolina governor and father-of-four, Mark Sanford, had an affair with Argentinean beauty, Maria Chapur. He was exposed when he went missing for 5 days in the summer of 2009, telling officials he was hiking the Appalachian Trail when he was actually on his way to rendezvous with Chapur in Argentina. He called Chapur his “soul mate,” also stating he would try to fall back in love with his wife. Recent photos of the couple in Uruguay proved this was not the case, and he paid over $74,000 in ethics fines.

Rielle Hunter – The actress/producer, Rielle Hunter, gained notoriety with her affair (and subsequent pregnancy) with potential-presidential nominee John Edwards. Even though both parties tried to hide the baby-bump cause, claiming she was pregnant by one of Edwards’ former campaign staffers, on January 21, 2010, Edwards finally admitted to the world that he was the father of Hunter’s daughter Quinn.

Erin Barry – Basketball star, Tony Parker admitted to “sexting” Erin Barry. She was potentially the one to blame for Tony’s split from wife, Eva Longoria. Though Tony denied any sexual activity, he couldn’t refute the smart phone infidelity coupled with his stupidity.

After reviewing the media’s exposure of those affairs, who is the best mistress? The Mistress of the Millennium accolade is one not to be taken lightly. These mistresses toiled through telling lies, cashed in on infamous deeds, and played the game well. But who played it best?

Vote now for who you think the Mistress of the Millennium (so far) should be. Who knows, maybe you can get on that list… Hey—it could be worth a lifetime, all-access membership to SugarSugar.com!

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